Dragon Koi - Ink Trails Tattoo Forum

Please consider the following when giving feedback on a member's tattoo:

Line work: Does the artist seem to have grasped the technique of applying smooth, consistent lines? Do the lines flow with no shakes, skips or blow-outs?

Fill: Are all color and black areas a consistent color?

Shading: Does the tattoo show smooth gradients and transition effectively from light to dark?

Color Harmony: Does the tattoo have colors that compliment each other?

Placement/Size: Does the tattoo seem to be the right size for the area chosen? Is it centered and lined up with any other work? Does it go with the flow of the body?

Design: How well does the overall design work? Does it have sound composition? Does it feel well thought out?

Feedback: What areas could be improved?

Shaz View Member Profile	Nov 15 2009, 10:47 PM Post #1
Needle Prick Group: Full Member Posts: 96 Joined: 17-June 09 From: Sydney Australia Member No.: 13,655	This is my first Dragon Koi. Used 7rl, 5rl, 5rs, 11rs & 20rs, Intenze Inks & machines custom made by Bonsairock. There's still some shading to do behind but it will only be soft. This is on my hubbies shoulder/arm. There are some issues, I lost the scales a little towards the tail & I need to touch up the highlights on top of the head. The white just didn't take but I'm a bit cautious with white, I'd rather touch-up than have overworked. Overall I'm happy with the colour transitions & most of the line-work. Hubby is really happy with it. OK-let me know what you all think. -------------------- *"Drawing is the honesty of the art. There is no possibility of cheating. It is either good or bad." Dali*

Replies (20 - 27)

cHiKkEnLiPpS! View Member Profile	Nov 17 2009, 10:26 AM Post #21
Pin Cushion Group: Full Member Posts: 179 Joined: 12-January 09 From: Marsylvannia Member No.: 7,337	I, too, disapprove of this design. Maybe it would have been better if you posted up the artwork before applying this to skin. You could have worked out the issues before hand as well as received advice on how to improve it altogether. What really stands out to me is the body/face of the dragon-koi, the lotus just sitting there, and a lot of empty space. Of course I'm going to nit-pick on the scales, but besides that, the body is lifeless. It lacks any hint of structure, and just looks like ' a bunch of pretty colors.' Since Dragon-Koi aren't necessarily real, it's hard to take a critique on anatomy seriously, but I'm going to say it...the anatomy is WAY off. It would have been best to study both real koi, and also the Japanese design fundamentals of them to understand what you are drawing, and why you are drawing it. The fin out of the middle of the body is very displeasing to the eye. The face is not fluid, the spikes (not sure of technical term) look like cardboard cut-outs, the teeth have no distinct shapes, the barbs' shapes are not consistent, and the eye seems too big. Why is that lotus just there? It could have been bigger, it could have interacted more with the Dragon-Koi, it could have gone to the underside of the arm to expand it into a sleeve, it could have had finger waves bouncing it around (nobody seemed to notice the lack of rendered water). I like the traditional shape of the sakura, but the petals (PeDaTalS! ) don't seem to have that same confidence in them. They are small and withered (not in a design sense). Same thing with the lotus...they could have interacted more. There are others on the board more qualified to judge Japanese tattoos, but in my opinion, you have all the themes and components for this tattoo, but nothing, no sustenance, no composition to draw it all together. Sure, you could say you meant to do it that way, as art is relative and it would offer some sense of immunity to this critique, but once the design aspect is broken down, it's clear that the technical aspects are not nearly up to par. That is not as forgivable. I suggest some lining practice and some slower, more methodical color/blending. Post up some p'skins or fruit if you would like more analysis of what you can do to improve. Also, for the record, Nerd is not my apprentice, nor am I his teacher. I work with him sometimes, and we love exchanging ideas and helping each other out with all kinds of stuff. -------------------- BaWKa bAwKA MawTha FaWka!

cHiKkEnLiPpS! View Member Profile	Nov 17 2009, 10:27 AM Post #22
Pin Cushion Group: Full Member Posts: 179 Joined: 12-January 09 From: Marsylvannia Member No.: 7,337	Holy Bananas, I'm sorry that was a novel! -------------------- BaWKa bAwKA MawTha FaWka!

The Nerd View Member Profile	Nov 17 2009, 10:54 AM Post #23
Ink Slinger Group: Full Member Posts: 1,964 Joined: 4-August 08 From: Balt, MD and SD 619 , CA Member No.: 2,433	^ especially tat zapin .. mexican food and mizopeds hahah lol ... yeah shes just a cool friend that helps me out cuz im a loser -------------------- www.inkedbythenerd.com swallowsndaggers tattoo forum Swallows and Daggers Support The Traditional Movement Tattoo Artist, Painter, Asshole and Machine Collector

Shaz View Member Profile	Nov 17 2009, 05:25 PM Post #24
Needle Prick Group: Full Member Posts: 96 Joined: 17-June 09 From: Sydney Australia Member No.: 13,655	QUOTE (The Nerd @ Nov 18 2009, 01:01 AM) ^ thats what i mean by lazy ... nummy hit the nail on the head .... dud i told u what i see that was wrong its up to you to fix it ... this not a personal attack or an attack on the style ... i actually wish i was amazing at japanesse 1 of my closest friends ( chikken ) is amazing at the style and i respect it so much for what it is ... this was no personal shot nor a attack just what i had seen .. if you think the cherry blossoms are fine by all means keep them u just got my opinion here u can take it or leave it .. just like when people crit on my artwork or whatever sometimes i take it to heart and sometimes i say nope i like it how it is and dont .. reguardless i do not appreciate the personal attack on my work in my thread ... what is this high school .. Points taken - can't keep apologising Nerd - I was not making a personal attack. Like I said will not happen again. -------------------- *"Drawing is the honesty of the art. There is no possibility of cheating. It is either good or bad." Dali*

Shaz View Member Profile	Nov 17 2009, 05:32 PM Post #25
Needle Prick Group: Full Member Posts: 96 Joined: 17-June 09 From: Sydney Australia Member No.: 13,655	QUOTE (cHiKkEnLiPpS! @ Nov 18 2009, 05:26 AM) I, too, disapprove of this design. Maybe it would have been better if you posted up the artwork before applying this to skin. You could have worked out the issues before hand as well as received advice on how to improve it altogether. What really stands out to me is the body/face of the dragon-koi, the lotus just sitting there, and a lot of empty space. Of course I'm going to nit-pick on the scales, but besides that, the body is lifeless. It lacks any hint of structure, and just looks like ' a bunch of pretty colors.' Since Dragon-Koi aren't necessarily real, it's hard to take a critique on anatomy seriously, but I'm going to say it...the anatomy is WAY off. It would have been best to study both real koi, and also the Japanese design fundamentals of them to understand what you are drawing, and why you are drawing it. The fin out of the middle of the body is very displeasing to the eye. The face is not fluid, the spikes (not sure of technical term) look like cardboard cut-outs, the teeth have no distinct shapes, the barbs' shapes are not consistent, and the eye seems too big. Why is that lotus just there? It could have been bigger, it could have interacted more with the Dragon-Koi, it could have gone to the underside of the arm to expand it into a sleeve, it could have had finger waves bouncing it around (nobody seemed to notice the lack of rendered water). I like the traditional shape of the sakura, but the petals (PeDaTalS! ) don't seem to have that same confidence in them. They are small and withered (not in a design sense). Same thing with the lotus...they could have interacted more. There are others on the board more qualified to judge Japanese tattoos, but in my opinion, you have all the themes and components for this tattoo, but nothing, no sustenance, no composition to draw it all together. Sure, you could say you meant to do it that way, as art is relative and it would offer some sense of immunity to this critique, but once the design aspect is broken down, it's clear that the technical aspects are not nearly up to par. That is not as forgivable. I suggest some lining practice and some slower, more methodical color/blending. Post up some p'skins or fruit if you would like more analysis of what you can do to improve. Also, for the record, Nerd is not my apprentice, nor am I his teacher. I work with him sometimes, and we love exchanging ideas and helping each other out with all kinds of stuff. Thanks Chikken - I'm gonna load the final line drawing from which the stencil came (at work at the mo' so can't). The piece goes up & over the shoulder so maybe the body shape is throwing things off a little in the photo. All pointes noted above. As I said before I'm going to do some background fill - just not finger waves - hubby didn't want them. He prefers flowing shapes. Anyway... we'll see if I can pull this one out of the can... thanks again everyone... This post has been edited by Shaz: Nov 17 2009, 05:32 PM -------------------- *"Drawing is the honesty of the art. There is no possibility of cheating. It is either good or bad." Dali*

Shaz View Member Profile	Nov 17 2009, 05:33 PM Post #26
Needle Prick Group: Full Member Posts: 96 Joined: 17-June 09 From: Sydney Australia Member No.: 13,655	QUOTE (The Nerd @ Nov 18 2009, 05:54 AM) ^ especially tat zapin .. mexican food and mizopeds hahah lol ... yeah shes just a cool friend that helps me out cuz im a loser Cool - you're a lucky dude... -------------------- *"Drawing is the honesty of the art. There is no possibility of cheating. It is either good or bad." Dali*

The Nerd View Member Profile	Nov 17 2009, 06:19 PM Post #27
Ink Slinger Group: Full Member Posts: 1,964 Joined: 4-August 08 From: Balt, MD and SD 619 , CA Member No.: 2,433	no need to apologize i know how people get when they hear my crits ... i expect it a lot ... so its no biggie just let it be ... and yes im very lucky .. i wish chikken had the time and all to apprentice me because i learn so much from her when shes at the shop everytime shes thier i pick her brain on subjest and all but i LOVE LOVE LOVE the fact that she dose not see me as a lower or belittle me when 1 of HER clients comes in she evens asks me "what do u think sean" im like wtf thats ur client n ur asking me .. thats shows me something it shows me a lot .. shes an amazing artist and person so i am super lucky to have what i have -------------------- www.inkedbythenerd.com swallowsndaggers tattoo forum Swallows and Daggers Support The Traditional Movement Tattoo Artist, Painter, Asshole and Machine Collector

Nippyneedle View Member Profile	Nov 17 2009, 06:31 PM Post #28
Human Billboard Group: Full Member Posts: 506 Joined: 2-March 09 Member No.: 9,514	I fukin love a happy ending............ PS, I liked the concept and some of the colour aspect.... This post has been edited by Nippyneedle: Nov 17 2009, 06:33 PM -------------------- C'MON THE HOOPS IN 2010, Pure Shite in 2009, A Fukin No.

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